After listening to your story, I felt so proud of you, too. I had anxiety disorders because I was raised by my mom who is still suffering from heavy depression and anxiety. I could feel the way you depicted in the story such as being afraid of somebody hurt you and having no confidence. I am happy for you that you told your mother about the feelings and she understood and was so supportive of you and your choice. I remembered that when I was a teenager and talked to my mother about my anxious feelings, she thought I was weird and refuse to listen to me anymore. I did not feel any better until I met my husband in the college. He helped me go through the darkest days of curing and fighting with myself to stop feeling depressed. I totally agree with you that the depression and anxiety disorders cannot diminish completely, and now I would still feel anxious sometimes. But I believe that is a kind of gift or memory from the past and try to treat the feelings as an old friend, then the feelings will leave unknowingly.
I want to share my feelings with you that we can be proud of ourselves for being with anxiety disorders and depression. We had suffered with them, but they did make us a better person. For example, you have the power of empathy, you can understand other people, you are trying to build a harmonious community to help them, and so on. These are all the positive outcomes you have gained from the experience of living with anxiety disorders and depression. They make you your own hero, and you can be other people’s hero now. They also help you gain the ability of awareness. You could notice the feelings you were suffering and you could tell yourself clearly that you did not want to live like that anymore. So you have changed to be a mentally healthy individual. And you are also aware of the other people’s status to offer the help when they need. Actually, some people do not know they are suffering from anxiety disorders and depression, like my mom, or like the students who bullied you in the school. Because a mentally healthy person would not bully other people or act deviated. They were not genuinely conscious of what they were doing, and in turn, they lost the chance to be the normal and mentally healthy people.
Now I am trying my best to help my mother to get rid of the anxious feelings. It is hard because making her realize the anxious feeling is already uneasy. But I will not give up. I really like your words: Start climbing up, or blaming other people for the rest of the life. I am really inspired and encouraged. Thank you so much for sharing the story!