Of the ten principles of servant leadership from the Personal Inventory of Servant Leadership, the three that are the most challenging for me are: listening, empathy and building community.
An example of listing occurred several years ago when a married couple I knew was having difficulties in their relationship. The wife’s overriding concern was that her husband was unwilling to listen to her. She felt he interrupted too often, demonstrating his lack of listening. After a series of events, the husband made a strong commitment to listen to his wife. Soon after, both spouses were amazed at the improvement in their marriage. Simply listening, whether in the context of marriage or any relationship, demonstrates investment in that relationship. One of my challenges is to listen more consistently and mindfully and to not automatically suggest solutions.
I have become increasingly aware of how important empathy is to developing relationships. Recently, in my a church small group, another member was showing signs of depression and was feeling overwhelmed. I spent an evening outside of small group talking with this person and sharing my journey with these emotions. This person told me that it brought them measurable healing.
The third principle that I need to focus more on is building community. The New Testament, particularly the epistles, shows how often Paul and other writers refer to friends, companions, mentors and subordinates. The scriptures frequently talk about Christians eating together, travelling together, celebrating together. In short, a large part of building Christian community is togetherness and fellowship.
Is there a correlation between spiritual gifts like mercy, exhortation, giving, teaching, etc. and the ten principles of servant leadership?
Norm,
It seems the example you gave of spending additional time with a small group member is one great expression of community — which is, of course, built on individual relationship. Being in a place where you are known — where you can be yourself without trying to “fit in” is such an important concept of belonging and community.
As you consider how you might develop skills related to creating community within your leadership sphere, you might be interested in reading Brene Brown’s book “Braving the Wilderness: The Quest for True Belonging and The Courage to Stand Alone” (2017). Building on her qualitative research into trust and vulnerability, she describes the critical importance of vulnerability and belonging in order to create authentic communities.
— Leadership Prof