Light From Many Lamps – Will Durant (Post #4)
Will Durant: Gladly I surrender myself to love and parentage
As a new mother, I was drawn to Will Durant’s passage where he writes about finding joy in his family life (as cited in Watson, 1988, p. 245-246). Durant speaks of the happiness he discovered through other experiences in his life, but that the happiness was fleeting. However, he eventually found true lasting happiness with his wife and young daughter (as cited in Watson, 1988, p. 245-246).
I have never doubted that for me, my happiness would come from my husband and my daughter. However, what really resonated with me in Durant’s passage is when he writes “Today I have neglected my writing…Was it not the final purpose of my toil that I should be free to frolic with her, and spend unharassed hours with the one who had given her to me?” (Durant as cited in Watson, 1988, p. 246). Since giving birth to baby Macey three weeks ago, I have been trying to find time to complete my coursework for the two courses that I am taking. As I sit here at my desk reading and writing, I am trying to balance and rock Macey to sleep. Some days I feel frustrated that I cannot get my work done like I used to be able to, and even when I do, the quality of my work does not compare to what I used to be able to produce. Other days, I feel guilty that my coursework takes time away from time that I could be spending with my daughter. Durant’s message reminds me that ultimately, I need to focus on what really matters. While my professional development is important to me, my family will always come first. I should not feel frustrated when Macey takes me away from my work because she will always be a priority over my schooling. However, I should not feel guilty about spending time on my coursework either because ultimately, my self-improvement and development will benefit her in the long term since it will make me a more well-rounded parent and it will create opportunities for our family in the future.
As I navigate through the first few weeks of parenthood and realize its parallels to servant leadership, I am realizing how complicated leadership really is. Previous to giving birth to Macey, I saw servant leadership as very black and white and that decision-making was easy as long as one abides by the ten characteristics of servant leadership (Northouse, 2016, p. 227-229). However, I now understand leadership is not as straightforward as it seems. I want to create a better future for Macey by completing my graduate degree and opening doors for myself professionally. However, I need to balance this with the fact that Macey needs me to be present right now. As a servant leader in this situation, I need to have the foresight to understand that some sacrifices are necessary in order to have long term success but I also need the awareness to understand that my present actions have a lasting impact on Macey’s development and happiness (Northouse, 2016, p. 228).
If there is one thing I agree completely with in Durant’s message, it is that “if I do as well as I can the tasks for which life has made me, I shall find fulfillment, and a quiet lane of happiness for many years” (Durant as cited in Watson, 198, p. 246). Even at only three weeks old, Macey is already my pride and joy! She is all of our (me and my husband) dreams come true!
Here is a picture of Macey sleeping while I speed-type this assignment like a maniac before she wakes up for her next feeding!
References
Northouse, P. G. (2016). Leadership: Theory and Practice. Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage.
Watson, L. E. (1988). Light from Many Lamps. New York: Simon and Schuster.