Another beautifully written and inspiring post! I was very touched by your story about your mom and the note that you discovered written in her bible. As a mom myself, I can’t even imagine what she must have been experiencing, and how much she must have been praying for a miracle for the sake of her 4 young children. What good advice your mom shared about focusing on getting through an hour at a time, or a day at a time … by creating “day tight compartments” as a coping mechanism in times of crisis and tragedy. This is a strategy that is also taught in Dale Carnegie courses and something that I have also used when stressful situations can feel completely overwhelming.
Here is a small section shared from the website: http://www.dalecarnegiewaynj.com/2011/05/27/reduce-worry-by-living-in-‘day-tight-compartments’/
“One of Dale Carnegie’s principles for overcoming worry is to live in day-tight compartments. This term was first coined by Sir William Osler when he encountered this life-changing quote from Thomas Carlisle, “It is not our goal to see what lies dimly in the distance but to do what clearly lies at hand.”
Rather than look to the past or more than 24 hours ahead of the present Sir Osler focused the tasks at hand. Often times, our thoughts are dominated by regrets and mistakes of the past, or anxiety about upcoming events. We are unable to perform what needs must be done at the moment because we are trapped in the past or future. Dale Carnegie said, “If you want to avoid worry, do what Sir William Osler did: Live in “day-tight compartments.” Don’t stew about the futures. Just live each day until bedtime” (http://www.dalecarnegiewaynj.com/2011/05/27/reduce-worry-by-living-in-‘day-tight-compartments).
The words “this too shall pass” are powerfully encouraging and uplifting, especially when shared by people who have lived through turmoil and hardships themselves and are courageous survivors. The words seem to take on more meaning when delivered by those who have experienced the truth of them.
I especially enjoyed what you said about wanting to be there for others who are struggling and to intentionally “hold space” for them. What a beautiful thing to want to do! I’ve been very lucky to have had others “hold space” for me and it is one of the best gifts that I have ever received. I too, would love to be able to pay that kindness forward.
Thanks again for sharing yet another courageous and inspiring post!
I appreciate your comments. I had never heard of Dale Carnegie’s living in ‘day-tight compartments’ before and really like the phrase and thought behind it. I also believe that our capacity to empathize is made greater living through or being close to those who have suffered. This can be applied to aspects of servant leadership such as listening, empathy, healing, awareness, stewardship and commitment to the growth of people.