Light from many lamps – To find happiness we must seek for it in a focus outside ourselves

To find happiness we must seek for it in a focus outside ourselves (Lillian Eichler Watson pg 11-15 ) The leadership lesson of this anthology is to provide a reminder that if we spend too much time thinking about what makes  us unhappy, instead of actually doing things that make us happy, one will never achieve enlightenment. Consuming negative and selfish thoughts are not productive in the quest for happiness. It’s instead about overcoming our fears and taking action in life to make things better.

An example of this I would like to share is a time when I was at one of the lowest points in my life. My son was just diagnosed with being on the Autism Spectrum. In reality by the time I received the diagnosis it was not at all entirely surprizing. It was actually hearing confirmation that actually devastated me. I went through a brief period of grieving, thinking about all the moments I wouldn’t be able to share with my son. I was also struck with guilt thinking I let my husband and all of the grandparents down. I knew all of their future moments too, that they looked forward to were shattered and I somehow took the responsibility for this as it was me that delivered this child. I shut the world off and was tired of hearing all of the token condolence words from friends and family that in no way was doing anything to make me feel better. It wasn’t until I finally mustered up the strength to get out of bed and go grocery shopping where I had a moment that has impacted me to this day. While I sat at the grocery store in tears in my car, finally alone and able to feel sorry for myself, a car pulled in beside me which was a spot for persons with a disability. It was a mother with her daughter and as I watched her walk to the passenger side, smiling and engaging with her daughter I thought to myself that this was a sign from God. I realized that this mother also had obstacles to deal with and here she is enjoying life, laughing and smiling with her daughter. At that moment I knew that everything was going to be alright. I knew it was my destiny to be there for my son and give him the best possible chance at life. I thought, that can be me if I suck it up and just be a mom to my son. I can be the one smiling and enjoying life too with my child. I decided form then on that I would shed no more tears and instead I was going to take action and deal with the card I was dealt. It was time to get on with life and do everything within my power to be the best mother I could be to my son.

I’m proud to say that my son has made significant improvements with his learning and is getting better every day. I know he will never be cured and he will always require care however I have a plan in place and as a result I know he will always be taken care of, even after I am gone. I have had many happy moments with my son since that date and don’t consider my relationship with my son any different from any other mother/son relationship. It’s not been an easy road but he’s achieved things I never thought possible. I recall my mother-in-law saying that my son was a gift to me because I would do everything in my power to make sure he had a rich and fulfilling life. I knew my leadership skills were exactly what he needed – persistence, dependable, diligent and never willing to give up. I am so thankful every day to be the mother to this amazing little boy. He has taught me so much in life about slowing down and the importance of family and community being there for one another. He is a wonderful and caring human being, with such a pure heart. He is often described as someone that is always happy and smiling and is proof that happiness can be achieved no matter what the situation.

As leaders we are faced with obstacles every day and true leaders persevere and find their way out of problems. Some challenges are harder that others but it really does feel good when we are able to move forward and continue to make the world a better place whether at work, home or in our community.

Lights from many lamps – Lillian Eichler Watson originall published 1952, ISBN 978-0-6716-5250-0