Tag: Light from many lamps

“Think with courage; look forward with hope; act with faith and confidence in the future of mankind.” (Watson, 1951). I am sometimes amazed at the strength of some of my community elders, and how positive they are for the future, despite having endured horrific pasts, particularly with indigenous residential schools. I feel driven every day to be successful so that in their lifetime they can witness better times. In my indigenous culture we are reminded that change can take 7 generations. This helps me to put things in perspective when frustration sets in due to how slow something might be progressing. Yet I’m hopeful for a brighter day.

As a leader we are often exposed to the failures and frustrations of an organization. We are trained to deal with continuous improvement and so it would be easy to constantly see the negative in everything. It’s important however to stop and realize the accomplishments of an organization as well. In my community for example I live with, work with and spend personal time with family. There can be a culture of negative gossip which is not abnormal given the environment. What I’ve come to realize however is that the cheerleaders do not speak up that often and so consider it a gift when they do. It may be because they are content or sometimes it’s out of fear that they might be chastised for not being part of the negative gossip. It would be very easy to succumb to the negative talk and be influenced into not doing the right thing as a leader. I realize though, that my indigenous community is still healing from inter-generational trauma. It is important that the leadership not give up hope for a better day for future generations. It is happening however, perhaps not as fast as some would expect. Or sometimes as leaders we are exposed to folks with health issues or other things happening in their life that makes it difficult to think about the future with any glimpse of hope. An amazing thing is happening however in Canada and that is the acknowledgement of the Truth and Reconciliation movement. As a child I could have never dreamed of this happening in my life time. It’s not been perfect and we still have plenty of work to do however it’s given me hope for the future. I do believe it’s a great time to be indigenous and am very hopeful for our future as communities. We are still healing but I do believe some of the atrocities that have happened in the past, and some that still exist today, will one day come to an end. As indigenous people we must embrace the future and set the path for our children. We need to be courageous as the warriors we once were. It’s ok to put some faith in mankind as the world is now learning what our people endured. There are amazing folks out there that want to help us succeed and are willing to give a hand up. Will it be the same and will be we ever be able to go back to our traditional ways? I say no however mankind has always evolved including our own people. I believe it’s a mix of the past teachings and future teachings that helps us to evolve and to be better people. We are now being respected for some of our traditional teachings for example, like caring for the earth. We all as humans have to find our way in this world and it is our time as indigenous people to lead the healing. I know I have a sense a responsibility as one of the first generational leaders to face reconciliation and to act with the utmost courage. How as a leader day today can one best lead an organization with courage?

Henry David Thoreau discusses the need to simplify (Watson, 1951, p.231-238). I’ve come to learn in my life that being a successful leader requires a balance in all areas, including outside the workplace. Health, family and work life balance are equally important. This wasn’t always the case however.

As a young indigenous girl I thought the reason why my life was challenging was because I came from poverty. While this was somewhat true it was not the only thing in life that brought about happiness. Early in my career I made the mistake of making decisions based on what positions might bring the most amount of money. I was highly driven to climb the corporate ladder without taking the time to learn the skills to be successful. I was often challenged by other leaders with much more experience than me. This caused me to work even harder to prove I belonged. Things finally came to a head when I went away on a vacation with my spouse. There I was in a tropical, romantic location and I couldn’t get away from my phone or computer. I spent the entire vacation stressed out and working. My health and relationship was suffering as I was so focused on one goal and that was personal wealth. It was ironic that while my motivation in making money was to achieve a happy life it was that very thing that was making me unhappy.

Upon return from vacation I reached out to a mentor and let her know I was about to have a break down. Upon reflation with her, I realized I was trying to take on everything to achieve status. I was aggressive in my career goals, I was President of my Toastmasters club and was managing my recreational hockey team. I had trouble saying no and it dawned on me that people saw me as someone that could get things done and so were constantly calling on me to help. It was at this point that I made major shift in my life. I resigned as president of my club and manager of my hockey team. I applied for a new position in my organization that would give me more work life balance. Then something amazing happened, after trying for years to get pregnant without success I was with child. Pregnancy forced me so slow down even more and after returning from maternity leave, I continued to set boundaries knowing whatever time I dedicated to another cause was going to take time away from my family.

This new found attitude was actually the medicine I was needing. I became more productive at work as well as more liked. I had found the monetary things no longer mattered. The ironic thing is this shift in my life resulted in good things happening without my having to force the issue any longer. I’ve since moved up and have become a more effective leader yet still maintain a balance so I’m not ever putting my family second. The valuable lesson I learned was to simplify my life to the things that truly bring happiness. It wasn’t easy in the beginning saying no but I’ve learned to set boundaries. My happiness bank is no longer how much money I have, but how much time I have to be with the ones I love. With that I’m able to enjoy things in life I almost never had the chance to. Travel, the outdoors and time with friends. I’ve achieved the riches I’ve always craved and that’s a loving home, family, a good place to work where my gifts are appreciated and a community that I get to help every day. Living this way has allowed me to appreciate the beauty around me and as a result I’m a more effective leader than I’ve ever been because I come to work every day with a fresh and positive attitude. At this point in life I’m midlife and because of the positive changes I’ve made I’m now able to further my life learning by working on my MA in Business leadership. Finding that lifelong balance has allowed me to pursue dreams I never thought possible and I’m sure after completing my MA will be an even more effective leader. I wish for everyone in life to have the ability to seek clarity to what in life really matters. Can you think of what in life you most cherish?

 

Watson, L.E. (1951). Light from Many Lamps. New York: Simon and Schuster

Growing up in Greater Vancouver as an indigenous person was not easy. My mother came from poverty and dealt with the aftermath of growing up in a family and community where alcohol and other abuses were prevalent. I know now I was part of a vulnerable population that would be disadvantaged in life, because of the color of skin and my heritage. Or at least I thought that would be my destiny.

As a young person in elementary and high school I felt ashamed of my family and hid my culture as much as I could. I remember feeling embarrassed about friends knowing too much about my family and doing my best to keep them at a distance. Having said that I know now, given where my mom came from I would say we were doing pretty good. She moved us to a nicer neighborhood and although we didn’t have much she did her best to give us a normal and healthy life.

Upon graduation my life was turned upside down as my mom could no longer afford to live in Metro Vancouver. She was faced with the decision to move to a northern town where some of my other indigenous family resided. I knew I would be destined to no post secondary education, likely married with kids at a young age and without many career prospects if I moved with them. On top of that I was upset about leaving my friends behind. Faced with this decision I knew I had to find a way to stay and so found myself a place to live and a job at the age of 18, 5 days after high school graduation. At first I was very angry about my mom leaving me in this situation but quickly had to realize that that anger was not going to accomplish anything. Something inside me told me that I needed to be self-reliant and stand on my own two feet. I can almost recall to the day when I said to myself that I would no longer be dependent on anyone and moving forward I would only count on myself to live the life I wanted.

The article in Light from Many Lights, Part 5, Number 4. Ralph Waldo Emerson, My life is for itself and not for a spectacle…what I must do is all that concerns me, not what people think, discusses self-reliance as an important thing in self-discipline and development of character. What I did not expect after my anger subsided is that my life would in fact get better. Initially I struggled, I admit. It took about 5 years for me to get my footing and be able to balance the responsibilities of adulthood. I had to learn how to budget, pay bills, and how to cook for myself. With only a high school education I slugged it out working two jobs at not very good companies. That experience however taught me that I needed to find a way to get to school so I could better myself. I put myself through college and found a great company with room for advancement. In addition to my career I was careful to find a life partner that had similar values as me, and would be a good husband and father.  Even though today I have life challenges like everyone else, I can say I am content with the life I’ve built.

I’m now a proud indigenous woman working for my community. I’ve been able to learn about my culture and family and as a result understand the history and why indigenous people have struggled. Thanks in part to the truth and reconciliation movement, I no longer need to feel embarrassed about my heritage. Along with getting reacquainted with my community I’ve learned about traditional teachings that make sense to me and am thankful that, for some reason I followed many of these principles. For one I have learned that everyone has a gift and its important to nurture these gifts. Without knowing it at the time, my career path has allowed me to utilize my gifts. I had a mentor that helped me with career coaching, and although I found myself questioning what it was that I wanted to do, I instead just did what I was good at. There were times I was not always happy in my job but I realize now it was all in an effort to prepare me for my role today. I am sure that the adversity I went through as a child and through my work experience was my ancestors guiding me so that I could lead my community through reconciliation. Ralph Waldo Emerson said (Eichler Watson 1951) “Trust thyself; every heart vibrates to that iron string. Accept the place the divine providence has found for you, the society of your contemporaries, the connection of events. Great men have always done so…

In an indigenous community we can sometimes be harsh on one another and bring down the very people that are working hard to help others.  While I trust myself and my destiny I still have feelings and as a leader can be the target of gossip and negative intentions. For the most part I have managed through these situations but its hard when working with family as inevitably there is no off switch to the gossip even when I try and walk away. People seem to think I need to hear about things, mostly because they care and want me to counter. I never do and walk away but admit my heart wears heavy at times. Knowing I’m on the right path and being exposed to this kind of negativity I hope to learn from other leaders how they can continue on their path they were destined for with negative chatter in the background. It’s one thing to know better but in practice what do others do to stay on the path of living a self-reliant life and keeping the mind and hearth healthy?

Lilian Eichler Watson, 1951, Light from Many Lights, Part 5, Number 4, page 176, New York: Simon & Schuster, Inc.

During week 4 of LDRS500 I was so taken aback by Part three, 1. Paul Hamilton Hayne’s “This, too, shall pass away” (Watson, Lillian Eichler 1998). As it was intended to be, from the very first time of creation, “a motto wise and true and endlessly enduring, words by which a man could be guided all his life, in every circumstance, no matter what happened” (Watson, Lillian Eichler, 1998). To me this saying speaks to one having patience to get through times of adversity. Some of my strongest mentors display incredible patience both in business and in their personal life. It’s a quality I’ve admired and although I work hard to emulate, I know it’s something I must regularly practice. I recall with my superiors that were really good at what they did, often using time to solve problems, knowing that the next day allowed the opportunity for things to get better. Let me share more about the leadership lesson and how it is relevant in my life.

Since ever I can remember I have had a competitive streak in me, always trying to be top in whatever it is I do. In my younger years this was prevalent as I competed in team sports. I had an undying will to win at all costs. In my career this served me well as I climbed the corporate ladder. I wanted badly to keep going and move up as high as I could until I was humbly knocked down by a change of corporate direction. The new regime believed in ruling with an iron fist and I knew my style would not have success in that type of environment. I knew my choices were to adapt or move on and at the time the economy was not great and so there were not many options. I also knew that if I left I risked moving to another organization that might also have a similar management style. So I thought to myself better the devil you know instead of the devil you don’t. My career took a back seat for a few years as I decided it would be a good time to work on my family. As it turned out my taking a backseat and moving into a new department was an unexpected great decision in my life as it lead me home to my indigenous community. This takes me to the next chapter in my career and so invite you to read on.

Coming home was almost sacra religious. My entire life was starting to make sense. The patience I needed to have in my career was exactly what was needed. I know now when times are difficult, my mentors were right, sometimes time brings answers. My community has taught me so much about adversity and forgiveness, particularly when speaking with our elders, many of whom are residential school survivors. Time has become less relevant as I have learned I am here on this earth to serve the next 7 generations. This is how much time it takes to instill real change and when I count back to the beginning of colonization I am aware that I am the 7^th generation here with the purpose of bringing my Kwantlen family to times of prosperity. Change is happening rapidly and with that brings fear. I am amazed at how much I’m able to preserver and instill change for the better despite those wanting to hold me back. I know if my elders can go through the abuses of residential school that I too can be strong, knowing in time things will get better. I believe now that my community is on the right path and one day we will be free from intergenerational trauma, alcoholism, drug addiction and abuse. In the moments where there is pain and words that are meant to hold me back I know tomorrow is a new day. As I lead my community through change we will have our good and bad days but as long as we move forward we will again be a healthy community. For me personally I’m glad I did not change to be a tyrant. I believe my leadership style has served me well in working with new generations that want to feel valued as employees. I’m very thankful I didn’t panic and stayed true to I was as I can see now with time, life can bring you in many different unexpected directions. Some people in my community say my ancestors brought me home. That may be part of it but I also believe when you follow your heart in whatever you do, life brings rewards.

References

Light from many  Lamps, 1998 Lillian Eichler Watson