Henry David Thoreau discusses the need to simplify (Watson, 1951, p.231-238). I’ve come to learn in my life that being a successful leader requires a balance in all areas, including outside the workplace. Health, family and work life balance are equally important. This wasn’t always the case however.
As a young indigenous girl I thought the reason why my life was challenging was because I came from poverty. While this was somewhat true it was not the only thing in life that brought about happiness. Early in my career I made the mistake of making decisions based on what positions might bring the most amount of money. I was highly driven to climb the corporate ladder without taking the time to learn the skills to be successful. I was often challenged by other leaders with much more experience than me. This caused me to work even harder to prove I belonged. Things finally came to a head when I went away on a vacation with my spouse. There I was in a tropical, romantic location and I couldn’t get away from my phone or computer. I spent the entire vacation stressed out and working. My health and relationship was suffering as I was so focused on one goal and that was personal wealth. It was ironic that while my motivation in making money was to achieve a happy life it was that very thing that was making me unhappy.
Upon return from vacation I reached out to a mentor and let her know I was about to have a break down. Upon reflation with her, I realized I was trying to take on everything to achieve status. I was aggressive in my career goals, I was President of my Toastmasters club and was managing my recreational hockey team. I had trouble saying no and it dawned on me that people saw me as someone that could get things done and so were constantly calling on me to help. It was at this point that I made major shift in my life. I resigned as president of my club and manager of my hockey team. I applied for a new position in my organization that would give me more work life balance. Then something amazing happened, after trying for years to get pregnant without success I was with child. Pregnancy forced me so slow down even more and after returning from maternity leave, I continued to set boundaries knowing whatever time I dedicated to another cause was going to take time away from my family.
This new found attitude was actually the medicine I was needing. I became more productive at work as well as more liked. I had found the monetary things no longer mattered. The ironic thing is this shift in my life resulted in good things happening without my having to force the issue any longer. I’ve since moved up and have become a more effective leader yet still maintain a balance so I’m not ever putting my family second. The valuable lesson I learned was to simplify my life to the things that truly bring happiness. It wasn’t easy in the beginning saying no but I’ve learned to set boundaries. My happiness bank is no longer how much money I have, but how much time I have to be with the ones I love. With that I’m able to enjoy things in life I almost never had the chance to. Travel, the outdoors and time with friends. I’ve achieved the riches I’ve always craved and that’s a loving home, family, a good place to work where my gifts are appreciated and a community that I get to help every day. Living this way has allowed me to appreciate the beauty around me and as a result I’m a more effective leader than I’ve ever been because I come to work every day with a fresh and positive attitude. At this point in life I’m midlife and because of the positive changes I’ve made I’m now able to further my life learning by working on my MA in Business leadership. Finding that lifelong balance has allowed me to pursue dreams I never thought possible and I’m sure after completing my MA will be an even more effective leader. I wish for everyone in life to have the ability to seek clarity to what in life really matters. Can you think of what in life you most cherish?
Watson, L.E. (1951). Light from Many Lamps. New York: Simon and Schuster
After, reading your blog I found it so close to my life story. I’m having a fresh start in my life thinking of how to make money and live life king size but when I came to Canada leaving my family for higher studies, I found the real gem lies with living with them only. It is not just making the money always but sharing moments with them and spending time with them is what cherish my heart.
Thank you for sharing your very personal and relatable story. I am also in mid-life, and happy to hear that I have others in this journey with me. Although I have come to similar realizations I still find that I wrestle with finding balance. This was a good reminder for me to re-prioritize, and remember that I am not alone in working this out.