“Well, maybe it is later than you think; why don’t you do something about it?” (Dr. Frederic Loomis, 1938)
I couldn’t stop thinking about this story after I read it. It felt like it was written specifically for me as a reminder to live my life in the present, and to not keep putting my hopes and dreams off until the future. Both my Dad and my Father In Law passed away at a time in their lives when they had planned to do all of those things that they had put off for so long due to busy careers and the tasks and costs associated with growing families. They never had the opportunity to enjoy some of the rewards that they had earned.
Dr. Loomis (1938) in Lillian Eichler Watson’s Light from Many Lamps shares that;
“Many years have been added to the average expectation of life but each individual’s fate is still a hazard. The most valuable people around us have lived largely for others. This seems the time to remind them that they will have more years, and happier ones, to do good for others if they start right now to do something for themselves; to go places and to do things which they have looked forward to for years; to give those who love them the happiness of seeing them enjoy some of the rewards which they have earned; to replace competition with a bit of contemplation. (Watson, 1988, p. 27)”
On a personal note, saying yes to opportunities that solely benefit myself, isn’t an easy thing for me to do. I married my high school sweetheart and wholeheartedly lived 25 years of my life putting my spouse and my two children first. When my marriage fell apart three years ago, I was gutted and at a complete loss. I struggled with rediscovering who I am. I had identified myself solely as a wife and mom for so many years. Even with two grown children, I felt guilty about putting myself first or doing anything to reward myself. Shonda Rhimes book, The Year of Yes (2015) was a great read and I made a pact with myself that I needed to say yes to opportunities more when they present themselves. As reminded by Dr. Loomis (1938) it is important to go places and do things that we have looked forward to for years, and if we actually take the time to do these things for ourselves in turn we will be providing more happiness and joy to those who we continue to serve both personally and professionally.
My Dream Board
I created a dream board two years ago that hangs on my bathroom wall. It is a reminder to me each morning as I get ready of what I would like to do and who I would like to become as a person. On my dream board are several beautiful photos of Italy, a place I have always wanted to explore. Much to my surprise and delight, I was recently presented with the opportunity to travel to Europe this summer on free airline points. Despite the photos on my dream board (that I have looked at for two years straight) my immediate gut reaction was; “No way, I can’t do that. I have 2 kids, an elderly mom and a dog to look after. I’ve just started my Masters and I don’t think I can even afford to go …etc.,” The reality is that my kids are older and will be well looked after as will my mom and dog. Just like Dr. Frederic Loomis’ medical practice in his story, my family world also will not stop spinning and fall apart if I go Italy. I know that ultimately, I would regret it if I didn’t go. Thanks Dr. Loomis and Shonda Rhimes for confirming for me that I need to say yes and go! Look out Europe! Here I come!
W. Beran Wolfe declared that, “One important source of unhappiness is the habit of putting off living to some fictional future date (Watson, 1988, p.29”. I don’t want to keep putting off my dreams and miss out on the many opportunities that life has to offer. Time really is a gift and one that none of us knows the quantity of. The time is now for me to pursue my dreams of travel, getting my Masters and pursuing educational leadership opportunities. As Loomis (1938) says,”Well, maybe it is later than you think; why don’t you do something about it? (Watson, 1988, p.25)”
‘Why don’t you do something about it?’ is a great leadership question! If there is something that we don’t like or something we want to do, what’s stopping us from getting it done? Who or what are we waiting for?
Eichler Watson, L.E. (1988). Light from Many Lamps, (1st Fireside Edition). New York, NY: Simon & Schuster, Inc.
Beautifully written and utterly inspiring. I strongly believe in and promote self-love and care as an empty pot can serve none. You need to be happy and content yourself to help others. I’m sorry about your marriage falling apart but it looks like you have come out of it stronger and brighter and look at all the great opportunities showing up. I’m also a believer in the law of attraction from the book The Secret, it basically means, you attract what you think and a vision board is a great tool. I have my vision board as my laptop wallpaper. Indeed, we need to stop putting everything to tomorrow or later because mostly later becomes never. There is this quote that Jay Shetty shared in one of his videos that goes- if you are waiting for perfection/perfect time, you have already waited too long. Servant leadership is all about serving people, let’s start with ourselves. Thank you so much for sharing your story, it has definitely inspired me.
Thank you for your kind words. I also love the book The Secret! It’s where I got the idea of a dream board from! I have to admit that it was hard at first for me to wrap my mind around the idea that in order for me to serve others better, I also need to make sure that I serve myself. I realize now that ensuring that we also serve ourselves, we are better able to give of our best selves to others. I appreciate the Jay Shetty quote that you shared about not waiting for the perfect time, it’s so fitting! Thank you!
Hi Lara,
Thank you for sharing your story, It’s truly inspiring. I do agree with Shaaz that you start with your self. The feeling of complete fulfillment, it’s the beginning of sharing happiness. Nothing is lacking. Happy people live in the present and think about the next station in life. Leaving your zone and trying something new may bring you happiness.
Kindly
Wafa
Hi Wafa,
Thank you for your response and your kind words. I love your comment about happy people living in the present. This is so true! I have a gratitude journal that I keep, and it is amazing how much I appreciate at the end of each day! It has helped put things in perspective and I love taking the time each day to ‘smell the roses’ so to speak!
Warmly,
Lara
I agree with our fellow student – this was very inspiring, and a great reminder that time will wait for no one. I also appreciate your courage and your vulnerability in sharing something so personal as your story helped me to truly contemplate the concepts in the reading – thank you for that.
Something that you touched on, and probably didn’t even intend to stimulate thought, has really made me think. You mentioned about taking your Masters, and not being able to afford to go on the trip, and I must confess that I have had the same thoughts this year. And – every year. If I reflect back, I wonder how many times my concern/worry/anxiety about finances has kept me from pursuing an activity? How many times have I said: I will do “such-and-such” (ie. take my Masters….) when I am more financially secure? I am not promoting irresponsible spending, but my budget can be adjusted – time marches on. Thank you for your insightful thoughts! I continue to really appreciate your posts.
Thank you for your kind words! I was a bit nervous about sharing something so vulnerable, however, I know that in order to grow, I need to start from where I’m at. I’m grateful that you shared that you have the same thoughts and concerns about finances keeping you from pursuing activities. I agree completely, it’s not about promoting irresponsible spending, but rather what we choose to spend our money on. I appreciate your responses as I continue to learn from you.
Lara,
What is so wonderful from the Dr. Loomis quote and your own post, is how beautifully the chapters of our lives unfold. Many have written their posts this week about the importance of having a cause beyond ourselves (as demonstrated in the theory of Transformational Leadership) and the importance of self-care and a continual focus of learning and growth. Your post demonstrates the importance of these chapters in our lives.
As you know, my husband’s fight with cancer has certainly solidified for our family the importance of living and loving fully TODAY. One of the things we have learned through this journey is that there are no guarantees. (Of course, there never were, but often we live our lives as if there are). Discovering something that matters, showing love when we can, and enjoying today are important aspects of leadership.
Thank you for sharing!
— Leadership Prof