“What you do not wish done to yourself, do not do to others.”  ~ Confucius

(Watson, 1988, p. 195)

Confucius courtesy of Google Images

Lillian Watson (1988) in her book Light From Many Lamps, shares Confucius’ wise words with her readers.  Confucius, in one simple sentence, sums up the entire building block of what humanity should look like and sound like.  Think of what the world could look like if we all took Confucius’ advice!  We would be more tolerant and accepting of each other’s differences. We would provide to those who have not, or who are struggling for the means that do they have. We would celebrate each other’s victories and share each sorrow. We would uplift and encourage those who are weary and cheer on those who are overcoming obstacles on their journey. We would share our knowledge and our skills for the benefit of everyone and help others grow and learn.  Confucius’ message is one of servant leadership.

The place to start is in our own homes, our own work environments, our place of worship and our social circles.  Confucius when speaking to the feuding cattle and sheep herders, told them:

The rule of life is to be found within yourself. Ask yourself constantly, “What is the right thing to do?” Consideration for others is the basis of a good life, a good society. Feel kindly toward everyone. Be friendly and pleasant among yourselves. Be generous and fair. ~ Confucius

(Watson, 1988, p. 195)

I can honestly say that I try to live by Confucius and later Jesus’ words “Do onto others as you would have others do unto you”.  Due to human nature, this is not always an easy thing to do, despite the simplicity of the words. I don’t always succeed as well as I would like to, but can definitely say that I try very hard to live by this mantra.

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As a parent of two completely different kids with two completely different personalities and learning abilities, I try to treat my students the way I would like other teachers to treat my own children.  I have learned a lot since becoming a parent and view teaching completely differently as a result. I realize more than ever, the importance of treating each student as an individual and of focusing on their strengths and the things that they do well.  I also realize that if there are behaviour issues, chances are extremely high that there is a reason why and a backstory. It is my responsibility to find out what that is and to support each of my students as best as possible.  Not everything is simple and straightforward and there are a lot of grey areas.  Servant leadership means doing everything I can to help students and others grow. I try and share as much as possible with my team, the mistakes that I have made and the lessons that I have learned from them.  I admit though that I  find it extremely difficult at times knowing how to respond when I observe some teachers taking a hard line, zero grace approach with some of our most vulnerable and at risk students.  Those teachers remind me of the herders that Confucius tried to speak to, to help them change their ways, to bring about peace. It is amazing how our own stories affect how we react to others. I am extremely grateful to every teacher who has reached out to my own children and continued to believe in them even when they made mistakes. To every teacher who cared enough to ask and who genuinely listened  when my own children struggled after my divorce, I thank them profusely. To every teacher who realized that the heart needs to be taken care of before the mind can engage, I thank them. For every teacher who treated my children with grace, dignity and respect, I thank them from the bottom of my heart.  I want to be that teacher, that educational leader for someone else’s child. I want to share kindness with others as they have done for me and mine.

My father-in-law before he passed away was a Vice-President with one of the major Canadian banks. He had worked for this company since he was 16 years old and was a very loyal employee. He had a very high profile position and dealt with outstanding loans for large corporations who were facing bankruptcy. He was once asked to do something that he didn’t agree with by his superiors and he knew that if he stood up for what he felt was the right thing to do, there would be repercussions.  Just like Confucius, he asked himself “What is the right thing to do?” and ended up choosing to retire early rather than lose sight of who he was and his values.  The story was told often around the dinner table, as he wanted to make sure his children and grand-children understood that at the end of the day, there is only one thing that matters.  He would often say, “You need to be able to look yourself in the mirror at the end of the day and be happy with what you see.  You need to  be happy with who you are, what you represent and how you conducted yourself. If you can do that, then you can always be sure that you are doing the right thing”.  It takes courage to do the right thing, especially when you are in the minority. This is advice that has always stuck with me and that I share every year with each group of new students.  When I was younger, one of the pre-teen groups that I was hanging out with told another girl that she couldn’t play with us and she was excluded.  I didn’t speak up when I could have for fear of repercussions from the group. She died in a car accident before I could apologize and it has haunted me forever. There is a lot of friendship drama in school, and I share this story with my students and tell them that I wish I could have a ‘do-over’ to make it right. When dealing with uncomfortable situations, Confucius reminds us to continually ask ourselves “What is the right thing to do?”

My own dad taught me the importance of having integrity. He would often tell my brother and I that if you take away all material possessions all that a person has left is their reputation/legacy. What will yours say? I am often reminded of this advice when faced with difficult decisions.

I want to learn to be a better servant leader. To always ask, “What is the right thing to do?” and to treat everyone with kindness. I want to be fair and generous in my interactions and to ensure that my actions fall in line with Confucius’ teachings so that I only do onto others as I wish them to do onto me (or mine).

What is your most inspiring story of when someone has been kind to you and how has it directly affected how you approach leadership?

 

References:

Eichler Watson, L.E. (1988). Light from Many Lamps, (1st Fireside Edition). New York, NY: Simon & Schuster, Inc.