Please note that for this assignment, I separately interviewed 3 women from my school district who are all at different points on their leadership journeys. Only one of them has agreed to have her name and title published in this blog. I have received permission from our Professor to leave the other women as anonymous.  I have included  excerpts from all of their answers as part of this blog post because I believe that what they have to share is extremely valuable.

It is interesting to note that there are far more females than males in the teaching profession in our district, yet, males by far outnumber females in district leadership roles. This is especially noticeable at the high school level. Why is this? Do males predominately enter education to become administrators and pursue leadership roles or is it just a fluke?

The first woman I interviewed was at the beginning of her journey as a school administrator in the role of Principal of an elementary school.  The second woman I interviewed is a retired Principal and the third woman is Dawne Tomlinson, Director of Instruction and former proud high school principal.

@dawnetomlinson
Twitter

Dawne’s story is extremely interesting, as she was the very first woman principal of  the very first high school built in our District. The hallways are lined with old portraits of moustached male principals and at the end of the row is a framed picture of a smiling and beaming Dawne.  Another male principal replaced her when she moved into her position at the school board office last year.

When asked what was the most challenging aspect of being a female leader the answers were synonymous with each other.  Every single woman that I interviewed talked about the difficulty of finding balance between home life and work. They each mentioned that everyone always talks about the need for ‘balance’ but ‘balance’ is actually a myth.  Each one of them mentioned the huge amount of guilt that they felt because they were unable to give 100% and ended up not doing anything perfectly.  If they gave 100% to work, then they were missing out on dinner at home or their child’s recital. If they gave 100% at home, then they were unable to answer that angry parent’s email or deal with the massive amount of paperwork that was piling up on their desks. They felt it was very difficult to do anything as well as they would have liked.  They mentioned that many of their male counterparts went out for drinks on Friday nights while they were busy rushing to Costco to get their groceries and racing home to make dinner for their families.  They all agreed that it is hard because they all want to do a good job in a world that is dominated by men. At the end of the day, the woman is still the primary caregiver of kids and women are trying to work in a world that has more expectations of your time.  The favourite meeting time for male principals is breakfast which is really hard when you have little kids. We are not yet at a place where we recognize that there isn’t an even division of responsibilities. So, women live their lives in guilt because they aren’t fully present for anyone or anything. They are pulled in multiple directions that their male counterparts don’t experience to the same extent.

Some excerpts from the interviews when asked about the biggest challenge they face or faced:

  • “It’s daunting to walk into a room filled with male principals and I have had to learn to walk in with confidence knowing that I have the knowledge to do the job. I stayed quiet a lot in the beginning and felt that I had to earn my seat at the table. I only spoke when I felt it was essential and when I had something necessary to add to the conversation.”
  • “My first leadership role was department head in a high school. At that time, the challenge I had was of not being taken seriously. I found that I was under greater scrutiny to prove myself than my male counterparts. My age at that time was also a challenge, as the more experienced female department heads were also skeptical. It did not help that I was good looking. The assumption right away was that I did not have the intelligence to be in leadership. I also faced jealousy from other women. Snide comments, sarcastic references and subtle and unsubtle comments were not unusual. I developed a thick skin fast.”
  • “A lot of times, dads have come in to speak to the principal and they look right past me and automatically assume my male vice-principal is the principal.”
  • “When I became principal of an elementary school, I found I really had to act the role. If I knew it was an important parent meeting, I dressed the part. Power suit and exuded confidence. The fathers of students would be skeptical. Handshakes were deliberately firm. On one occasion when I had made an unpopular decision, the dad posted on Facebook a rude sexual comment. I think women leaders are more prone to receive insults like that.”

When asked what they do to help meet or deal with the challenges they face…

  • “Current role feels less guilty as my kids are older so I have more flexibility in my job. Same amount of hours but less urgencies to deal with. I try to be more mindful of delegating and trying to use the team more instead of just single handedly trying to do it all.”
  • “Have created a G-Summit for Girls in Secondary which is a support group for women in leadership roles within secondary schools. It’s not about the role of women in leadership but about supporting women who are in leadership roles surrounded by males. It’s fun! We have a lot of laughs!”
  • “It’s important for females to support each other and stop being competitive. I encourage others to live their truths and to praise each other!”
  • “Hired a housekeeper and put structures in place so that I can be home for dinner each night. I’ve also dedicated time to spend with my husband.”

When asked what advice they would have for women in leadership…

  • “Women need to be present, to take chances and step out of their comfort zones.  You need to show up or else you risk missing out. Relationships are huge! Be willing to ‘lean in’ and sit at the table.”
  • “Focus on the gifts that you bring to the table because they will become noticed. Build relationships with males. Be yourself. Don’t allow yourself to be branded as a woman. Leave the labelling behind you! Speak up when you have an important idea to share. Don’t share just for the sake of talking. Don’t monopolize the conversation. The people who stand out and have been seen, have been really thoughtful and speak only when they have something to ADD to the conversation.”
  • “Gender imbalances can happen in cycles. People gravitate to people who are like them. Men in positions of hiring leaders gravitate towards people who are like them. I don’t think it’s intentional who you gravitate towards. It’s hard for a system to see that and to notice a gender imbalance. Balance brings better dynamics to a group of leaders.”
  • “Street cred is so important. If you can take on the tough challenges and be successful you get street credit with the males. People will respect the work that you have done.”
  • “My advice is to go into leadership for the right reasons. If it is because you want others to think highly of you, forget it. If it is because you know you can make a positive contribution, you might be on the right track. It’s not the money! I would encourage women to think hard and not go into this lightly. It will affect your family, your health and your mental well-being.”
  • “I think the glass ceiling is still there. One only has to look at how many women there are in positions of power and politics. And there is the question, ‘Is it worth it?’ ‘Why do we do it?'”

I greatly admire each of these women that I interviewed. I appreciated their candid honesty about the challenges of their roles and their experiences along the way. Each of these women are strong and courageous in their trail blazing.  As a school district, we are expected to promote inclusivity and to celebrate diversity and differences. While, I honestly don’t think it’s intentional on the part of the males in educational leadership that females tend to face far different challenges than their male counterparts, there is still some work to be done around gender inclusivity.  The interviews raised a lot of questions for me and left me pondering. While the women were willing to be interviewed and were very gracious about sharing their stories, they still requested to remain anonymous. How can we start to create change if we aren’t transparent? There is obviously a need for support, and women are supporting women through the creation of the G Summit Group, but how can we also get men on board too?  One of the women that I interviewed shared that someone once asked her “How does your husband feel about you taking on this role?”  She shared that she couldn’t honestly imagine a man being asked the same question. Why do people continue to ask these kinds of gender inequality questions?  Breaking new ground is never easy and is tough work, even for those who have been at it awhile.  I was left with this for now… “I went into administration because I knew I could contribute in a positive manner and influence adults to look at education in a way that would benefit children. I try to stay positive but I also look for affirmation that I am on the right track. Most of the time I just keep going and ignore the folks who are negative. Often it is their issue.”