I chose John Henry Newman’s “Lead, Kindly Light…the Night is Dark, and I am Far from Home” in Part 2 for this assignment (Watson, 1951, p. 39-44). The leadership lesson I took from this reading was: leaders who experience trials can grow a greater faith and therefore a greater impact on the lives of others.
This lesson really resonated with me, as I recently experienced a very difficult year of many trials including: difficult leadership situations and decisions, financial struggles, personal health issues and a family member passing away. This was only after a year of being in leadership and it was the hardest year of my life to date. Through the storms and trials, I grew a deeper and more resolute faith in Jesus and was humbled knowing how little control I had over my life.
Similar to Newman, I experienced a miracle in my personal health situation and resolution in the other difficult circumstances within a few days. In my health situation my recovery was looking bleak and then I recovered far better than the doctors ever thought I could! I personally relate to this excerpt from this reading:
All at once he saw meaning and purpose in the pattern of his suffering. He had been struck down by the hand of Providence — and by that hand had been raised up again! He felt sure he had been saved for a purpose, that God had work for him to do. He was filled with love and gratitude, and with a great humility (Watson, 1951, p. 40).
Personally, that year was not an easy journey, but through it I experienced a greater depth in my understanding of God’s love for me and a thankfulness for the blessings I have. Similar to Newman, the way my health situation resolved gave me the same sense that God had allowed all this for a purpose and was raising me up again with a deeper trust, confidence and peace found in Him.
It has been 10 months since those trials came to a close in a matter of days and my husband and I’s lives have been forever changed. I have seen how God used suffering, to make me stronger and now I see that my ministry is having a greater impact than it was before. Now, it is less about me and more about Jesus.
My leadership has also changed, I have seen a great difference in the way I lead, in comparison to before. I still have my struggles and imperfections in my relationships and leadership. However, my roots in my relationship with Christ are deeper and I am not easily shaken, as I was before.
I look back on that year now with a deep sense of gratitude that God allowed all that to happen and trusted me to walk through it. I still tear up remembering how difficult it was and there is still grief to process. However, in the same way that Newman’s hymn had such an impact on people, I know that God will use those dark times I experienced to shine light into the lives of others.
Header photo: pexels.com by Lennart Kcotsttiw shared under Pexels (BY) license.
References
Watson, L.E. (1951). Light from Many Lamps. New York: Simon and Schuster.
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