A Snapshot of D’s Story

I had the privilege of interviewing “D” this last week. D is an associate pastor at a non-denominational church in Vancouver. It was wonderful getting to know her and hearing her story of how she became ordained as a minister.

D, started her career as a structural engineer and did consulting for 6.5 years. She was very involved in her church, but the idea of becoming a pastor never crossed her mind. D (November 8, 2018) stated, “I never thought it was possible and did not see examples of women pastors”(telephone interview). She observed women taking the role of “Children’s Pastor”, but she did not feel gifted in children’s ministry.

Over time she grew dissatisfied with her career in engineering and God was growing in her a burden and passion for the Church. She explored the possibility of pursuing pastoral ministry and asked her church denomination, pastors, friends, professors etc. what they thought. She discovered a whole range of answers and even faced a situation where a male friend of hers and herself met with an elder to request a pastoral reference for seminary. The elder later confirmed that the pastor would give a reference to the male friend, but not to D. When her male friend asked the elder why the pastor was not giving D a reference, the pastor had reportedly said, “She is a woman and it would be too hard for her” (D, telephone interview, November 8, 2018).

Subsequently, a lot of of conflict happened in her local church and she saw the consequences of an unhealthy pastor. This experience resulted in D distancing herself from her church and eventually changing churches. Additionally, with everything that happened in her church she experienced a “crisis of faith.” D (November 8, 2018) honestly stated, “I realized I couldn’t walk away from Jesus and if I can’t walk away from Jesus, than I can’t walk away from the Church” (telephone interview).

God eventually led her to pursue full-time ministry as a career and she started studying at Regent College full-time. She was not sure where in ministry she wanted to serve and was leaning towards non-profit or campus ministry, but the possibility of pastoring kept occurring to her. She had some deep reservations about pastoring, as she had seen and experienced the effects of an unhealthy pastor. She also recognized how difficult it would be as a woman and was still unsure where she landed theologically on it. Through studying at Regent, she took time to really explore her theological stance on the issue.

In the end, due to God affirming His calling on her life to be a pastor, others affirming and encouraging that gifting, and having a personal resolve to pursue pastoral ministry; she took a step of faith to become an “Associate Pastor” in a non-denominational church in Vancouver and was later ordained by them.

Meeting D online and hearing her story was very inspiring for me as a woman in Christian ministry. Though I work in a para-church organization, I feel a calling to do church planting eventually and also like D had ruled out pastoring, as it seemed too difficult. In the last six months, God has been bringing pastoring more to mind and so I am not sure if He is leading me in this direction, but lately I have not ruled it out, as I did previously.

Below I will summarize D’s responses to the questions posed in this assignment:

What is the greatest challenge you have faced or are facing as a woman in leadership?

D’s greatest challenge as a woman in pastoral leadership, was overcoming her own personal feelings of anxiety about her calling into ministry. As she had never heard or seen women being called into pastoral ministry, she lacked confidence. Also, since different Christian denominations hold different positions on women being ordained as pastors, she did not know if the church or other Christians would accept her. However, God’s call on on her life and the affirmation of others helped her overcome her own personal anxiety.

D said she has experienced microaggressions and two instances of direct opposition, however she found it surprising how little direct opposition she has encountered. She also stated she has a great church who supports her, so it is a safe place for her to live out her calling.

When she is amongst other ministers and pastors, there is a certain unknown as to what other male pastors think of her, as she is one of the very few female pastors. She mentioned at times she has been surprised by the amount of encouragement she has received from other male pastors. Surprisingly, the most direct oppositions she has received were from two other women, both American, but it also ended up leading to good conversations.

What is something that you do that helps you to meet or deal with this challenge?

When I asked D this question, her first response was, “I’ve gotten used to it” (D, telephone interview, November 8, 2018). I admire her resilience and strength in that statement. However, to be honest, the statement also saddened me to think that women have to continually face these kind of situations and just “deal with it” and continually overcome barriers.

She said that dealing with this challenge requires a lot of prayer and a focus on nurturing her own relationship with God. She also mentioned how talking to older women in ministry or women with more life experience is important; since they have fought these battles long before she has.

Lastly, she mentioned the process of her ordination was helpful in confirming her calling. She was officially ordained in the past year by her church and it really reaffirmed her sense of calling. She also felt it was special because it was the first time her church had ever ordained anyone!

Do you have any other advice or encouragement for women in leadership?

D’s advice for women in ministry leadership was the following:

  • Explore and figure out your own theological position on women in the church/ministry and the basis for it in the Bible.
  • Seek the support of others who are like you, so you do not feel alone–D went and found other women in Vancouver who were pastoring and created a support group.
  • Be active in building a support system/network–mentors, friends, other people building you up and pouring into you.

Personally, I went away from D’s story feeling both inspired and saddened. Inspired by D and her resilience and how she followed God’s call. However, I was saddened to hear some of the stories and instances of prejudice and opposition she faced; just because she was a woman and pursuing God’s calling for her life.

Christians are resolved to follow Jesus in all we do and so here is my question to Christians about women in the church:

Is the mission of Jesus, to “keep women in their place” in church and God’s mission? Or could we be limiting God’s mission, by limiting women?

Every instance I saw of Jesus in scripture, in the setting of a patriarchal society, showed that He loved, empowered and gave women a voice. He bestowed dignity and authority on women in incredible ways, making Mary Magdalene the first evangelist, meaning that she was the first preacher of the gospel. Jesus appeared to her first, after he was crucified and came back to life, and told her to go tell the disciples that he was risen from the dead; to go tell them the good news! This is one of many instances, where Jesus gave women authority, leadership and a voice. In a deeply patriarchal society, Jesus brought a new way, so now in the new freedoms and rights women in the 21st century have, is this the church’s attempt to be counter-cultural by keeping women in certain roles or is this Biblical?

My suggestion for others and my personal aim for my “Capstone Project” is to do research of experiences of women in ministry/church and see if there is any damage being done and if so, how extensive is it? Not just damage to women, but damage to the mission of the church.

Are we hindering the mission of the church by limiting God’s work in women’s lives?

 

Header photo: pexels.com by Snapwire shared under Pexels (BY) license.

References

“D”. (2018, November 8). Telephone interview.